Making Friends with Feedback
As a student, I subscribed to the “composer-as-solitary-artist” paradigm. I didn’t think feedback was important or relevant, except when a respected teacher gave it in class, and in a way that was palatable (read: articulate and gentle). All other feedback – especially if people didn’t like what I did – I dismissed. I told myself they just didn’t get what I was doing. But this approach led to isolation. I was creative in spite of the world, not because of it.
After college, I formed the Fisher Ensemble—a group of instrumentalists and singers—and started writing pieces for them. I loved the camaraderie and trust that we built together as we rehearsed and performed. But because no one was stepping up to produce my work, I wore a number of hats: composer, writer, director, filmmaker, producer, manager, fundraiser, publicist, accountant, grant-writer, illustrator, website designer, board member, networker, personnel manager, and even launderer and janitor. I ultimately couldn’t do it all myself, so I started enlisting not only the ensemble members, but friends and family. As these generous souls began to help with things like fold costumes and programs, manage ticket sales, organize fundraisers, and schedule rehearsals, they began to offer their perspectives on the actual art being created. Because I knew that they wanted me to succeed (they were donating their own time, after all!), I found myself open to – or at least willing to – entertain their feedback.
Looking back, I recognize the germs of what Ken and I describe in CULTIVATING FEEDBACK as the Creative Cycle. I was beginning to foster Curiosity about my work, engage in Conversations about it, and build Community along the way, based on a trusted team of Allies at the core.
Over time, this practice has helped me to achieve success on my own terms, and eventually gave me the courage to stop self-producing altogether. Handing over producing responsibility to others has given me valuable time and energy to focus on my first love: composing music. Cultivating feedback has helped me deepen my work as a composer and feel more connected to the world around me.
Giving up the reins of production allowed me to focus solely on the composition of KOCHO. (Produced by Beth Morrison Projects, NYC, 2011).